Tweets from Her Third Year #2
03-04-2011 Because of a really random conversation, The Baby is now yelling, “Procreate! Procreate!” 03-07-2011 Playing on floor with The Bees, and The Baby just LAUNCHED herself at me. I think she broke my face. 03-15-2011 Thing I just yelled at The Baby: “It’s not hand lotion, it’s rice!”
True Foursquare Check-In #1
01-21-2011 Extracting The Baby from inside the Skee-Ball machine. I wish I were kidding.(@ Playworld)
Tweets from Her Third Year #1
01-17-2011 And then The Baby took my phone and called my mother just to say, “I POOPED IN MY PANTS NOW!” 01-20-2010 I said to The Baby, “You know what you need?” She answered, ”BALLOONS!” #Iwasgonnasaysocks 02-12-2010 The Baby has been talking for an hour and a half, solid. Nonstop. Continuously. The whole time. Words. Loud ones. In my ear. 02-21-2010 The...
Tweets from Her Second Year #4
10-01-2010 Things currently mucking up The Baby’s pretty face: ketchup, chocolate milk, Cheetos dust, toothpaste. #MotherOfTheFreakinYear 10-18-2010 I’m teaching The Baby some important etiquette lessons: Kissing Mommy is nice, blowing raspberries in Mommy’s eyeball is not as nice. 10-28-2010 Somebody laced The Baby’s Goldfish with crank. There is no other explanation...
Tweets from Her Second Year #3
08-27-2010 Remember the One with Ross’ Pants? The baby powder and the lotion and the mess? It appears The Baby has seen that episode. 08-31-2010 The Baby has peed in no less than 7 spots in the house this evening. No, we’re not potty training, she just doesn’t like diapers. 09-13-2010 Adding to the list of Things I’ve Found in The Baby’s Diaper: twenty three cents....
Tweets from Her Second Year #2
07-13-2010 The Baby has started saying “Hey homie” and “Whassup?” Apparently she’s being raised in a late 90’s Bud Lite commercial. 8-13-2010 As I was putting The Baby down for a nap, she randomly yelled, ”RAZORBACKS!!” #footballfever 08-22-2010 The Baby just repeated each letter of the alphabet back to @mychapter, til the letter P. After that,...
Tweets from Her Second Year #1
03-17-2010 Emptying the dishwasher is exponentially easier when The Baby is not sitting on it. 06-22-2010 The new thing that The Baby is shouting, often and loudly, sounds a lot like “SALUD!” It seems I’m raising a drunken Spaniard. 07-12-2010 I walked into The Baby’s room to find her, apres-nap, nekkid in the crib, swinging the diaper around her head.
Tweets from Her First Year #4
12-2009 The things I hear myself say. The Baby was pulling books off the shelf and I yelled, “Get outta my business!” Surprisingly, she crawled away. 12-2009 The Girl says, all nonchalant, “Mama? The Baby is eating a spider.” Then she realizes what she said and screams, “A SPIDER!!”
Tweets from Her First Year #3
10-09-2009 But what I *really* want to know is how The Baby managed to get spit-up down her BACK. 10-14 The Baby has inherited her sister’s “cute face.” She leans her cheek on a shoulder, smiles, and all witnesses melt from sheer preciousness. 10-19 So, The Baby has learned to give kisses, did I tell you this? Well, she has. She leans her slobbery open mouth into my face and...